"We all shine on, like the moon, and the stars, and the sun." ~John Lennon: Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. Then the worms eat you. Be grateful it happens in that order.” David Gerrold

Monday, June 28, 2010

Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. Then the worms eat you. Be grateful it happens in that order.” David Gerrold

I've been looking at this blank post page for a few hours now and I don't know where to start with what I want to say. There has been a lot on my mind lately that will make me sound ungrateful for all that I have, but it's my life & my blog and I need to get this out.

This weekend The Hubs noticed a wiring issue with our "garage". The former owners (or whomever did the renovation of carport to room) didn't do the wiring properly and it was causing issues with the lights throughout the house. It made me so angry and upset that I wished we hadn't ever bought this house. I just wanted to pack all of our important belongings and set the place ablaze. I would never do that, of course, but it was a thought in my mind. I also wished that I hadn't made the choice to purchase furniture for our bedroom because that money should have / could have gone to savings incase something came up. I was wishing everything we had invested in this adventure away. I wished we could go back in time and tell ourselves to NOT buy this house. I wished that we hadn't signed those dotted lines. I wished that we were back in the townhouse.

I'm not ungrateful for what we have. I'm proud of the work we've done to get this far and I'm proud of the work we've done to make this house ours. I know we have it good, and that there are homeless people, unemployed people and so on. I count myself among the lucky everyday that I make my commute to work and get yelled at by an upset customer. I know that we have it damn good but I still wish for more, or for less, or for a day off, or for less work at the house.

I've wished for a different life occasionally. I'm not ungrateful for what I have; sometimes you just want something different for a bit. I'm always afraid of coming off as selfish but at times I want nothing more than to make everything about me.

I just needed to get that out.

1 comment:

BethJune 30, 2010 at 10:48 AM
I understand what you mean. It's not that you're being selfish, and you're right, it's blog, you can say whatever you need. I hope you get your garage wiring worked out soon. <3 you hon!
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Quotes of the moment:

"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be." ~Shel Silverstein

"We're all given a little spark of madness. We mustn't lose it." ~Robin Williams

“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!” ~Dr. Seuss

"We ain't what we should be, we ain't what we gonna be, but at least we ain't what we was." ~Miss Minnie - Designing Women

"Atheism is more than just the knowledge that gods do not exist, and that religion is either a mistake or a fraud. Atheism is an attitude, a frame of mind that looks at the world objectively, fearlessly, always trying to understand all things as a part of nature." ~Carl Sagan

"Women are not dying because of diseases we cannot treat. They are dying because societies have yet to make the decision that their lives are worth saving." ~Prof. Mahmoud Fathalla, MD, PhD

"I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints; the sinners are much more fun." ~Billy Joel

"Being a geek is all about being honest about what you enjoy and not being afraid to demonstrate that affection. It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It's basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating." ~Simon Pegg

"The greatest crimes in the world are not committed by people breaking the rules but by people following the rules. It's people who follow orders that drop bombs and massacre villages." ~Banksy

"Some believe it is only great power that can hold evil in check. But that is not what I have found. I have found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love." ~Gandalf

"When you can't run anymore, you crawl, and when you can't do that anymore you find someone to carry you." ~Firefly

"Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones." ~Marcus Aurelis

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." ~Oscar Wilde

"Mostly I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world everyday. There's too much of it. It's like pieces of glass in my head all the time. Can you understand?" ~John Coffey - The Green Mile

"I want you to listen to me very carefully, Harry. You're not a bad person. You're a very good person, who bad things have happened to. Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are." ~Sirius Black - Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix

"Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt." ~John Muir